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Monday, July 14, 2008

Club Malibu

I’m writing this late Monday night because I’ve had a tremendous amount of internet issues this weekend. After struggling for the past couple months with my wireless router I finally decide to break down and buy a new one. This comes after dealing with resetting the thing time and again, having my TiVo run out of programming because it can’t connect and not being able to update my Yahoo! fantasy baseball team.

I’m sure my fellow fantasy baseball managers will laugh at my lame excuse (my team is currently in 7th place) it was the straw that broke the camel’s back.

Now I’m up and running although not wirelessly but my musings need to be posted so here we go Club Malibu, a dance club.

From 6 to 8pm the place was quiet and it reminded me of an empty hotel ballroom prior to a wedding reception. It was a large open room with tables and an open dance floor with stage. Tall bar tables lined the walls and Andrea, the bartender, moved through the place making sure everything was in order, the margarita glasses were salted and Long Island Iced Tea mix was made. The only person to show up during this time was Guillermo who was making his rounds selling perfume from a bag.

At 8 it was time to grab a bite to eat before returning for the action which was described as a lively dance club with a great band and some very hot ladies by Andrea. I left with high hopes when returning.

Club Malibu looked very different upon returning. It was like walking into a cowboy dance bar / strip club / prom with red as the school’s color. The tablecloths, walls, bar and stage is a dark shade of pink and red. Black cowboy hats everywhere and the band is playing Spanish cowboy music.

A number of waitresses are moving around the bar, tables and dance floor asking people if they are in need of a drink. There doesn’t seem to be any designated area for each to cover so it felt very much like being at a strip club as the women walk around asking you if you want a lap dance.

The people on the dance floor looked like they were having a good time but the general vibe was not energetic. Not being much of a dancer I had to make the most of my time at Club Malibu so I tried to wiggle myself into some conversations which was hard because most were either on dates or in tight groups of 3 or 4.

Finally the time had come for me to hit up the dance floor so dressed in my work attire I asked one of the waitresses to join me. She stayed for only two songs as I proceeded to act like a drunken spaz and debut the Pencil Sharpener which was introduced to me by my old boss, Chris (click here to view video sample). I think I freaked some people out with that move. After hanging out at one of the tables with a woman who was definitely not having a good time, didn’t want to talk or dance, especially with a crazy guy who didn’t know how to, I decided it was time to call it quits and head home.

The great news is that I’ve got another dance bar coming up on Mission Street so I better start practicing the Sprinkler.


Anonymous said...

I'm surprised you couldn't attract any local talent after breaking out the pencil sharpener. You must need some work in refining your moves. Make sure you make more eye contact with the ladies while doing the pencil sharpener. Only then will you experience the true magnetism of the sharpener.

Gadiel said...

Spoken like a true Jedi master.

Margarita said...

You had been transported to a different time and place. In that time and place, men ask women to dance, whether or not she looks like she wants to dance, and then they won't take no for an answer. They consider it a challenge and try to convince you. It's a challenge to the man to convince you that he's charming enough to escort you to the dance floor, dance, then escort you back. And he might even buy you a drink with no expectations! It's an old world cowboy thing.